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Marie in Hong Kong

Marie in Hong Kong

Discovery of Hong Kong

The European crisis explained by one Chinese guy

Publié par Marie sur 16 Décembre 2011, 15:01pm

Catégories : #Cultural Differences

I found again a nice text to share with you in the local newspaper The Standard. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!


Written by N. Vittachi on the 14th of december 2011.



"Today, let's become instant experts on the euro crisis, now reaching a dramatic climax, just like it did last week and the week before that, etc.


Q:What is the euro crisis?

A:Europeans have a tradition of having a world-shaking crisis at regular intervals, such as World War I and World War II. These days, Europeans are too fat to fight, so they opt for an economic crisis instead.


Q:It doesn't sound overly serious.

A:Of course it's serious. There may be disruption in the flow of vital products that Europe exports to the world, like overpriced designer handbags.


Q:Oh no! Will Hermes cost more?

A:No, they'll cost less.


Q:So how is that bad?

A:They'll be cheaper than Asian- made fakes.


Q:Is a euro a man who has been spayed or neutered?

A:No, that's an aurochs.


Q:Where is Europe? Near America?

A:No, Europe is a small cluster of countries on one side of Asia, but it is not polite to mention this.


Q:So Europeans are Asians?

A:Geographically yes. But in personality, they are very different. For example, Asians get up every day and go to work, while Europeans prefer to go "on strike."


Q:Can you explain the euro crisis to me in a simple way?

A: Sure. Here it is in story form.

An Englishman, a German and a Frenchman walk into a bar. The Frenchman suggests they form a commune of rich families: "Money will flow more easily, giving us more time to cultivate our stereotypical national characteristics.

"We French can have sex, Germans can go around being efficient, Brits can eat bad food, Greeks can be gay, and so on." The skeptical Englishman refuses to join and goes home to eat bad food.

The commune opens and a dozen or so families show bank statements to join. For a while, everything's fine. But then there's an economic downturn. The Portuguese and Irish families end up broke, unable to pay their huge VISA card bills. The Greek family reveals that it never had any money, but got into the commune using fake bank statements.

Panic spreads. "If you rich guys don't bail us out, we'll end up poor and humiliated," the troubled ones say. The German and Frenchman hesitate, unwilling to spend so much. "If you don't bail us out, one or more of us will have to leave, and the commune will look like a failure," the troubled ones add. The German and the Frenchman continue to hesitate.

"If you don't bail us out, the Englishman will say he was right all along," the troubled ones persist. Zut alors! Mein Gott! The German and Frenchman quickly reach for their wallets. "How much do you need?"


Married men: Don't let your wives read this. They may decide to help Europe by stocking up on handbags."

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